Research has shown that people who regularly give and receive affection live longer, are healthier, and report a higher quality of life than those who do not. Even having a plant to take care of has been shown to improve health. Gentle, caring touch is therapeutic. One study showed that elders who were taught to massage infants gained benefits for themselves – including increased self-esteem and decreased depression — from giving massages, while the babies gained by receiving them.

Be generous with your warmth and affection. A smile, a handshake, a gentle hug, and saying, “I’m glad to see you” are simple tokens that mean a lot.

Be willing to ask for affection when you need it. Remember that wanting affection is not the same as wanting sex. It can be as simple as asking for a hug, or sharing the sofa with a friend. Do not be so sensitive to rejection that you are afraid to ask.

If you are in a relationship where there is no give and take with regards to affection, talk with your partner about it to see what can be done to fill this important need. Ask what you could do to restore a feeling of affection with your partner. If necessary, seek professional relationship counseling.

If you do not have a partner, initiate contacts with people you think could become good friends. Get involved in a social activity that you genuinely enjoy. Consider getting a pet. Studies indicate that single people who have pets are happier, healthier, and live longer than single people who don’t. The point is, you need affection to resist the ravages of stress – whether it comes from a friend, a family member, or a pet!

Gentle, caring touch positively affects stress. Research shows that touch can cause significant changes in physiology for mammals. A horse’s heart rate goes down when touched by his trainer. In humans, the effects of massage are quite powerful. Premature babies who received regular massage gained 47% more weight and were hospitalized fewer days than babies who were not massaged regularly.

Massage has been shown to reduce chronic pain conditions such as fibromyalgia, lower back pain, and migraines. It can lower blood pressure, reduce asthma attacks in children, and reduce anxious and depressed moods. It has been shown to reduce cortisol levels that dampen immune function. Pregnant women who received daily massage for a month reported lower anxiety and depression and had lower stress hormone levels (cortisol and norepinephrine), less sleep disturbance, and fewer complications in general.

What are some ways that you can start giving more affection to those around you? What can you start doing today?