Lately I’ve been feeling pretty calm in the face of difficult situations for me- I was late to several important meetings, meeting someone new in a completely new place for me, standing up to the ex-husband, looking at my dwindling finances.

These are not new things that place stress on me, just ones that have been recurring. I’ve learned how to put them in their mental place; they are no longer things that stop me in my tracks, nor send me running and hiding. I can look at them for what they are, stepping stones  to what I want. Some hurdles are bigger than others, some take longer to get around or over, but I know now that I WILL get past them.

But are facing old stressors really making me above stress? Will meeting a new source of stress make me run, or will I be able to meet it and see it for the size it really is? Is reducing  the amount of time it takes between that initial fight-or-flight instinct to look closely at it, to firmly put it in perspective an indicator of progression? 

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I love to-do lists. I use them almost daily. I have bought special ones that break my to-do’s into sections: tasks, errands, correspondence and notes. This sheet is getting to be to full and nothing seems to be moving on. I have each section almost filled and these are things that should have been done weeks ago.

I have a new job that I started in November. It is my first, full-time position. Prior to this, I was working 3-4 days a week so I had a lot of time to get other things done. I also go to school 2 nights a week for 5 hours each, on those days, I can’t get anything done besides work and school. I am also dealing with my partner getting a new, second, job so that we can afford to move out into our first apartment. So it has almost become my responsibility to apartment hunt on our not-so-fabulous budget. I am also in charge of grocery shopping for the two of us since now she is working a 65-70 hour work week, any time that is left over does not want to be spent at a grocery store. And then there is all the stuff that goes along with being a college student: meeting with advisors, planning for future courses, homework and attending the classes. On top of all this, I am also desperately trying to find a summer job because I am working at a school right now and don’t have employment over the summer and obviously, if we move out by then, I will need a job. I am also planning a surprise birthday party and organizing a gift for our school secretary, which both take a lot of time and planning and shopping. I feel as though there is no time left for anything else, I never exercise because I can’t find the time and my eating habits have gotten so bad over the  past few years that I am the heaviest I have ever been. 

I feel guilty right now for typing all of this and not actually getting any of it done!! I cannot imagine a day when I have to add kids and an entire house to this mix!! How does anyone do it?

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I’m willing to bet that all children at some point before they reached the age of 13 thought to themselves, “It will be great once I get out of school, because then I will never have to do homework again.”

As you grow older and you realize that different professions require different types of what might as well be considered homework, there is one undeniable truth.  Every American, or at least honest, hard-working ones, have one type of homework assignment that brings pain to many every year.  If you don’t know the homework assignment I’m talking about, you will when I tell you that the assignment is due April 15th.

Yes, it’s tax season again.  Just when you thought spring was in the air and nothing could go wrong with the snow melting, you have to get out your W-2’s and 1190’s, and sit down for a few hours to find out how much you owe Uncle Sam.

Even if you don’t owe the IRS anything, doing taxes is something many people do just to get it out of the way.  In fact, tax forms are due exactly three weeks from the date this blog is being written (sorry for the reminder).

I was fortunate to get my taxes done and out of the way yesterday.  Part of me feels relieved, but another part of me is aching.  That latter part, by the way, is my bank account.

Last year, I took multiple jobs, many of which were temporary, so I had a lot of 1190’s to let Mr. Tax Man know about.  Using TurboTax, I watched as some of my 1190’s translated into tax refunds, represented by green numbers.  Green is a nice color for numbers, because it reminds you of money.

Unfortunately, I also had some 1190-MISC’s, where no taxes were taken from my payroll.  When I entered those into TurboTax, I watched in agony as those pleasant green numbers plummeted and became large, intimidating red numbers.  Green reminds you of money, but red reminds you of debt!

Yes, there were a couple hundred dollars I did not have that I owed the IRS.  I could have swept those forms under the rug and pretended I didn’t receive them, but I’m too honest to do that.  Plus, I try to assume that some white lies you tell the government find their way back to you when you least expect it.  So to keep my karma healthy, I submit all my forms.

When you do your taxes using a computer system like TurboTax, seeing your earnings go from positive to plunging into debt hell is quite demoralizing.  Depending on how much you actually owe the IRS, it can be stressful too.  I don’t have a lot of money at this point in my life, so a couple hundred dollars means a lot to me.

But when my earnings turned red, here’s what I did.  I took a deep breath, and continued on with my paperwork.  I was eventually able to factor in how much I paid for my student loans.  Once I factored in how much I paid in interest on those loans in 2010, I saw the red number dwindle.  They didn’t turn green again, but at least I was obligated to pay less than before.

I was also able to put items that I bought for some of my ventures as a tax deduction.  In this case, I bought a smart phone from Verizon before the year ended, and was able to (honestly) say that I bought it for one of my business ventures.  The amount I owed went down again.

As a man in my late 20’s who did not graduate from college with a degree in economics or accounting, I don’t know as much as I wish I did about taxes.  In fact, if there was a class in college, or even in high school, on how to do your taxes, I would have taken it, or at least it would have been a good idea to take it.

Still, the best way to cope with taxes is to learn as much as you can about them.  Itemized deductions are probably the most fun thing to learn about.  Of course, taxes are one of life’s tricky things you can learn about by doing taxes yourself.

It was a difficult transition for me doing my own taxes, instead of having my parents do them for me.  However, considering I got through this year having not screamed at my computer once, I would say that doing my own taxes has been good for me.

So yes, taxes are stressful, but the first step to easing that stress is to keep the following idea in mind:  taxes are good for the country.  As much as you have to swallow your pride and cough up money from time to time, taxes provide money for so many things, many of which are necessary for society.  I don’t have to name all the government services made possible through taxes.  You can look them up for yourselves.

Sure, there are many people who don’t pay their taxes, and there are political bigwigs in Washington who may not use your tax paying money the way they should.  Those crooked politicians usually get their dues, including being voted out of office when caught.  It doesn’t always happen, but the American people know when they are being duped, and are most likely willing and able to speak out about it.  That’s another story, though.

Don’t let stories of corrupt politicians or gangsters without a social security number be excuses for you not to pay your taxes.  The IRS won’t care.  They didn’t take kindly to “Survivor” winner Richard Hatch not reporting his million dollar win, and they probably won’t take kindly to you either.

As much as it is a pain in the ass, it is best to do your taxes, and prevent a lot of financial pain for you and your family in the long run.  With that said, how do you do your taxes without losing your mind?

Well, I haven’t quite figured that one out yet.  For starters, don’t wait until April 15th to do them.  Last-minute filers sometimes make the 6:00 news, and look a bit foolish waiting in line for the post office with other procrastinators like them.  Waiting until the last day to file those taxes will make you stressed out guaranteed.

My suggestion is to do your taxes no earlier than February 15th and no later than April 10th.  By the February date I’ve chosen, Valentines Day is done and over with, thereby getting all of the major holidays out of the way.  Plus, but that time, you will have, or should have, received all of your tax forms.

More to the point, though, gettings them out of the way in late February or March will give you peace of mind.  There’s no rushing, and you may have details in your tax forms that may require more time than you initially thought.

So yes, taxes suck, and they are stressful.  They are also necessary, which is why avoiding taxes solely to avoid stress will be disastrous in the long run.  However, like other forms of stress you can’t avoid, it is how you deal with such stress factors that determines your peace of mind.  Be focused, be prompt, be honest, be prepared, be flexible, and you will beat the stress that comes from your taxes.

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